A farewell . . . .

It's been a month since my brother's funeral.

I've reflected on the past.

I think about the days ahead.

And I sometimes cry,

a lot.

Man I miss him!

What an amazing man my brother Mark was. Always serving others, making lives wonderful and spoiling my kids with bubble gum and other sweet delights.

Mark had such a zest for life-whether it was taking my kids to the zoo or picking up another niece or nephew for a football game; he loved creating memories and making people feel special. He was always thinking of ways to get others to laugh and enjoy life as well. . . like the great water fight of '09. I don't think any of my family will forget when Mark brought out a whole load of water guns and balloons and handed them out to all of our kids (during a service project at my house, mind you). Oh the look on the kids' faces when they got the grown ups soaking wet... priceless.

That was one of my last memories with Mark.

As I look back, I am so angry with myself that I didn't see his pain. His sadness. How could I just let Mark suffer like he did? I didn't even know, I didn't choose to know the extent of what he was going through. I looked at how happy he made everybody and assumed that things were okay. Stupid assumption.

During the five days that we searched for him and especially the days and weeks since, I've tried to figure out how I could be so selfish, when I had such an amazing example of selfLESSness right in front of me.

Mark Spencer Richards 1983~2009 Born Jan 19, 1983, passed into Heavenly Father's arms on July 24, 2009. Mark Richards was a Son, Brother, Uncle, Friend, Husband, and Daddy. He was well dressed, a champion wrestler, always tried to better himself and others, generous with his time and money, and took care of everyone around him. He will be sorely missed by all who knew him. Married Brianna Nicole Roper August 10, 2002 in Taylorsville, Utah. Survived by Brianna Richards, daughter of Mel and Lori Roper, his wife and love of his life and his son Carter. Parents, Mike and Myrna Richards, brothers and sisters, Eldon (Cami); David; Laura (Aaron); Debra (Greg); Danny (Allie); Boyd (Rachel). Preceded in death by his sister Rachelle.

Mark, I love you so much. You have been such a great example in my life and I'm so proud to call you my brother. I'm so grateful for all the many memories that I have with you and I will hold onto them forever and ever.

I'll never forget the time that an RC Willey's delivery man showed up at my door, after my back surgery, with a new King size bed... although it was supposed to be from an anonymous donor, I got the delivery man to tell me who it was from. Thank you.

And remember that time when everyone was getting together for a Memorial Day celebration and my financial situation was such that I couldn't even afford the gas from Spanish Fork to Salt Lake? Thank you again for watching out for me and sending me some money to make the trip. Again, you tried to be anonymous, but seriously...I know your handwriting better than you think. ;)

Then there was when Greg and I were newlyweds and you came to stay with us a couple of times. It made me smile that you were so excited to see junk food in my pantry. Growing up we rarely had any and if we did it would disappear in a flash. But what do you expect from a big family like ours?

I even look at our childhood with fondness. All of the teasing and torment that we dished out to each other . . . I'm sorry and I hope you know that I love you for those years. I love to think back and laugh at how easily you could get my goat.

Oh Mark, I'm going to miss you so much. Thank you for being such a wonderful part of my life.

I look forward to seeing you again.

I love you.

your sis,

Debra Lea